Dinner guests' manners - 10 things that drives me nuts

There are a few things that drive me nuts at the dinner table. I am sure I drive other people crazy too and you can feel free to write all about it on your own blog.

I really must be the worst hostess ever because here are 10 things that will make me want to poke a fork in my eye:

1. Arriving late without calling. Dinner can only cook for so long and the meal I prepared may go past the point of delicious after another 1hr staying warm in the oven. I really would like to serve you something yummy.
2. Starting to eating before everyone has taken their seat.
3. Reaching across people to grab things. I will bite your arm. It might be an accident but it might not be. Is it worth the risk?
4. Taking massive portions and not leaving enough for others. I am hungry too, don't make me hangry as well.
5. Double dipping. Pour some sauce onto your plate. Happily double, triple or quadruple dip into your germy sauce. I won't criticise or judge you when it's all your own.
6. Pointing cutlery at people when you talk or scratching your back with your fork.
7. Talking with your mouth full. Unless you are giving emergency, life-saving advice, keep it shut.
8. Applying tomato sauce or seasoning without tasting the dish first. Everyone has their own taste preferences, but taste it first to see whether it's to your taste or not first.
9. Bringing an extra guest without notice. Huh? Yes, it happens.

But the worse thing EVER, and I will forgive EVERYTHING else...

10. Turning up without a delicious bottle of wine (or two) for the delightful hostess.

What drives you nuts at your table? Rant away.....

Pet Peeves.....Table Manners

Is it just me, or do table manner seem to have disappeared. Some things that drive me completely nuts are;

• Pointing with your utensils. Don't point your knife at me unless you intend to stab me with it;
• Eating with your mouth open or talking with your mouth full. I don't want to see your masticated food and you look like a cow;
• Starting to eat before everyone has their food and is seated. It's not hard to wait. If you are literally going to die from hunger, you can always ask if you can start. It is worse manners to die at the table than to start eating;
• Holding the utensils like a caveman (or woman) or leaning your elbows on the table while you are eating;
• Pouring your own drink. Ask around, we all want to get drunk too.
• Getting too drunk.  It's from not sharing.
• Leaving the table before everyone has finished. If you have to, then at least excuse yourself;
• Not thanking the host. Even if you really didn't like the food (don't tell them), you have to appreciate the effort they put in;

I had better stop now. I can see I am on roll and soon no-one will ever want to dine with me again.

Pet Peeves

Earlier this week I read an article about unwritten rules and it got me thinking.  Thinking too much.   I must have more unwritten rules or pet peeves than most people.  I have been walking and driving around the last two days making notes whenever someone broke an unwritten rule or seemed to lack general social graces.  It made me feel like a member of the "Secret Polite Police" or 'Miss Suburban Manners'.  Feel free to make your own suggestions and become a founding member of the SPP.

Car Manners

• If someone lets you in, acknowledge them with a little wave.  It's their payment for nice manners;
• Speeding up on a round about so you can show people they didn't have space to enter, just shows you are a loser; and
• Park within the lines of the car space.

Shopping

• Don't talk on your phone when you are at the checkout; and
• Move your trolley to the side of the aisle when walking about.

Clothes

• Boys - pull your pants up.  We are looking at your undies and you are not Marky Mark; and 
• Girls - pull your tops down.   As much as I hate the term 'muffin top', that combined with peek-a-boo undies, you can do much better than this.

Facebook

• Don't be vague with your status updates. "Why me????" "Sigh..." "Over it".   Then don't respond to the concerned responses;
• Bad grammar.  'Y dont u just lern 2 spel? lol :)'; and
• 4000 friends doesn't make you popular.

Host, guest and eating

• Be punctual.  If it is unavoidable, then phone before your arrival time;
• Host does not = staff.  Be a good guest;
• Bring something.  If you are a drinker, then don't bring less than you plan to drink;
• If you have been invited to eat, tell the host beforehand if you have any dietary requirements, not when you sit down to eat;
• No-one wants to see your masticated food.  Keep your mouth closed when eating; and
• Thank the cook.

Mobile Phone

• The speaker phone is for when you are alone and not when around other people.  No one wants to hear what you did on the weekend, etc;
• Leave the phone alone when you are eating.  The phone enhances already gross chewing sounds; and
• We can hear the toilet flushing. We know what you were doing.

General

• Please don't sniff or snort, use a tissue; and
• Replace empty toilet rolls and put the old roll in the bin.

Pets, these need to be mentioned because the title is Pet Peeves

• Please keep your dog fenced.  For their safety and others; and
• Dogs shouldn't bark all the time.  Work out the reason and help them.