Thursday, August 30, 2012

How to appear fit when you are not...

How to appear fit when you are not. This is a special skill and it's best that you don't skip any of these but add a few points of your own. This is all very important, so important I am going to use a list again even though I dislikes lists.

1. You MUST wear gym clothes for either the school drop off or pick up but not both.
2. Do stretches outside your kids class rooms. The bigger the better. People need to see it.
3. Nod at other people wearing gym clothes
4. Throw the following words into any sentence: reps, sets, kilos, kilometres, ripped, glutes and carbs
5. Drink protein shakes in public. If you don't like protein shakes, have a coffee in a shake drink container. I'm sure they do the same thing
6. Jog on the spot when talking to people
7. Wear a pedometer and check it often
8. Start every 3rd sentence with "oh, my trainer said........"
9. Limp or wear a bandage occasionally. Real fit people are always nursing injuries
10. Write numbers in permanent marker on your arms and legs. When people point them out say "oh how embarrassing. That's from the tri/bi/marathon etc I did on the weekend."

These are foolproof.

You are welcome.


PS: or you can actually go for a run or join a gym and be fit for real

58 comments:

  1. This made me laugh! I see women doing this at the kids' school every day lol

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    1. I know, they don't think we can tell. Rachel x

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  2. Many of the laydeez wearing gym gear at my school are not necessarily people who should be just wearing gym gear for comfort, if you know what I mean?!

    I probably fit into that category, but I just wear flattering clothes instead! ;)

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    1. I know exactly what you mean. Some things are better in something other than unforgiving lycra. Rx

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  3. Hilarious, great read R !!

    The numbers do suit you, have you got any real runs coming up?

    Have a great day x L

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    1. Hi Lou, I don't have any runs planned. But I should look into what is coming up. Rachel x

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  4. This is brilliant Rachel! Thanks for giving me a good laugh x

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  5. So true Rachel. There's also the one about dabbing a bit of Deep Heat behind your ears and having a lunch box of high protein snacks like little tins of tuna in your handbag. I see it all the time and think "wow, those ladies must be fit!" LOL

    Anne xx

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    1. Oh, they are excellent ones. I can't believe I didn't think of them. I must need a part 2. Rachel x

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  6. Very funny Rachel! Often wonder if they've been in the sweaty gear all day when I see them at pick up! Thanks for the laugh. x

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    1. Well, now you know. They are not sweaty at all :)

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  7. Lol Rachel, nice one! Excellent tips, especially the coffee in a shake drink container, I'll definitely try that! haha
    x

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  8. Genius, I cant wait to do this at drop off this morning.
    Thinking it wouldn't work as well if I did all the above but not in gym clothes. Thanks for visiting and being my newest follower.

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  9. That's so funny Rachel.
    I don't look so good in any of these scenarios though ;o)
    Tania xx

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    1. Haha, no one does so don't let that scare you off. Rachel x

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  10. hahaha this is hilarious!! AND SO something I would do :P

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  11. Too funny! Can't wait for my child to actually start school in 2 years so that I can apply these! Perhaps I'll start practising at my local supermarket!

    The sad thing is that there are many people out there who actually do this!

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    1. The supermarket is a excellent rehearsal place. Rx

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  12. Bahahaha! I'm still in my walking gear. Must shower ... or not!

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    1. Take advantage of the clothes while you have them on. Rx

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  13. Sadly enough I know people who do this sort of stuff, but for real! They take it all sooooooo seriously. Dude. It's exercise. Relax. And maybe eat some carbs...

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  14. You are too funny! You forgot to mention having a 'treadie' in your lounge room. Hahahaha!
    x

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    1. Haha, that is an excellent one. But no-one would see it, so you have to invite people over often and make sure you are still in your gym clothes when your visitors arrive. Rx

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  15. Hahaha, love it Rachel! This and your '10 annoying Facebook things' post are two of my favourite blog posts ever.

    Now I just need to do all of these things so that I can convince MYSELF that I am fit!

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    1. Hi Melinda, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Rxx

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  16. Classic..I did have race numbers on last week... For a day or two...but I promise it wasn't for this reason.. ;) x

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    1. Normally I would doubt you, but I suspect you are telling the truth :) I hope you did well. Rx

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  17. Now, these are MY kinds of fitness tips! And to think I nearly didn't read it (coz that's what I think of fitness and exercise!). I would have missed out on a great laugh :-)

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  18. omg pissing myself laughing. this is fantastic!

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    1. Thanks Aroha, I am glad I am responsible. Rachel x

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  19. hahahahahah, this is GOLD!!! Good one Rachel

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  20. Ha ha love this! I am supposed to be doing a mini triathlon in November which I have done no training for, i think I will bypass all that and just write a number on my arm instead. Problem solved. So glad I found you :-)

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    1. It is a lot easier this way but it might not be as rewarding :) Thanks for visiting and commenting. Rachel x

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  21. I seen lots of ladies that I think already know these tips.

    Very funny stuff

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  22. lol you have such a great sense of humour.
    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

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    1. Thanks Rhianna. I always think I am funny but not everyone else is laughing when I am. Rachel x

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  23. Bahahahaha love them all!! Especially the coffee in the protein shake container!!!

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  24. Thank you - I'm inspired to stock my wardrobe with gym gear. The protein shake replacement was genius. My trainer was only saying this morning that I needed to increase the reps in my set (or was it the sets in my reps?).

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    1. I love that you put 'trainer', 'reps' and 'sets', 'gym' all the the same sentence. You are well on your way. Rachel x

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  25. Thanks for the Friday afternoon laugh! I love this, just because I am the least fit person of anyone I know! xx

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    1. Hi Chrissie, I am so glad you enjoyed it. Have a great weekend. Rx

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  26. Even though I have just started exercising myself (for real) its amazing how just being in good joggers and wearing sports gear makes you feel way more fit then you actually are! Love the list, I'm of lists, though I understand the dislike of them lol

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    1. Haha, it's true. Putting on the clothes makes a huge difference. Rx

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  27. Love 10. My 11 would be to wear heels. It improves posture and helps suck tummy in.

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    1. Thanks Rachelle. High heels are great for posture and calves. Excellent advice!

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  28. Lol Rachel. got your blog link through Missmel on Facebook. God I know women like that!!
    Bron

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    1. Hi Bron and welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Glad Missmel sent you too. Rachel xx

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