There are qualities I value in friends now that I am nearly forty. What I look for in a friend is different from when I was 20 or 30. I am no longer looking for someone that likes the same clubs as me, drinks the same wine, likes the odd sneaky cigarette or a slightly naughty joke.
No, I look for more in people these days.
2. A kind heart. I always tell my girls to find the biggest heart in their class and that is the kid to play with. It goes for big people too. I have come across way too many shrivelled up hearts and know they are best to avoid. Just like a sultana was a grape, you can't turn it back into a grape by soaking it;
3. Confidence. I am not confident but I love confidence in other people. I have known people that are consumed with insecurities and I have also seen these insecurities bring some terrible traits to the surface;
4. Trusting. I love open people that are happy to talk about whatever. I have found that the least trusting people are usually untrustworthy themselves. I love trusting, honest and open people. Paranoia makes me paranoid;
5. Intelligence. I don't care if they have a Masters degree or left school at 12. I like people that make me think. I am not super intelligent but love it in others. I can't stand the faux intellectuals, these are the people that think they are so smart, use lots of big words but don't say anything;
6. Non-judgemental. I really don't want to have to explain my decisions to friends. They have to assume to have thought it out, back the front and inside out and made the best decision for me (and my family);
7. Positive. Negative nellies need not apply;
8. Life givers. This is the opposite of the people that are just exhausting to be around. There are some people that just make you feel good hanging out with. I want to hunt them down and sit beside them with a cup of coffee all day, and then with a glass of wine all night;
9. Low maintenance. You haven't spoken or text for a week, or a month and they are cool about it. We are all busy. You can just pick it back up where it was; and
10. Responsible. Accepts when they have made mistakes. My pet peeve is a blamer. Someone that always turns a situation around and points a fat greasy finger at the closest person. Give them a wide berth because eventually they will point at you.
Basically, I want to hang out with people that make me want to be a better person.
What do you value in friends now you are older?