This post is co-written with my sister Kerrin. We had lots of giggles when discussing our Facebook irritations.
vague booking. This is when people do a status update like "Why me","I am about to punch someone" or "Now it smells worse than ever". We have divided this into two categories:
The Unresolved drama eg: "I can't believe it's come to this" and despite many concerned comments they don't return to ease peoples worries or explain the original status.
The Extended drama eg: "I can't believe it's come to this" and then after many concerned comments they respond along the lines of "Just more of the same drama" "I'm over it" or "I can't get into it but I'll PM you". So the whole drama remains up in air. Also, this whole PM is annoying as well. We are your 'friends' too.
2. Frienemies or enemines as 'friends'. Why on earth would you have people as Facebook friends when you can't stand them in real life? Maybe it's time to clean out your 'friend' list. Is this just to keep an eye on them? Stalking maybe? We are not judging stalking, we think it can be quite therapeutic as long as you're not in denial or keeping them to use for not-so-subtle-sniper attacks, see below.
3. Not-so-subtle-Sniper. These always make us giggle. If we can see through them, then most other people can too. It's obviously aimed at someone in your 'friend' list else what's the point. Is it a aimed at friend, frienemy or a some other category? There are more grown up ways of dealing with issues.
eg: "You really have to wonder why some people bitch about someone and then go out to coffee with them. I hope you enjoyed your Gloria Jeans latte this morning"
4. El despresso. We all have ups and downs but the el depresso only has downs and keeps us informed regularly. Even if it's good news, they still manage to find the negatives. It really is a special talent.
eg: friend status : I have really been looking forward to the girl's dinner this weekend.
el depresso : Mmmm, I have a UTI, I am having a fat day and I can't find a lift :( But hey, I hope you have a great night.
5. Lovey dovey. You married him, we get that you love him, you think he is the sexiest man alive, you are the luckiest girl in the world etc etc, but you don't have to try to convince us of your love daily. Maybe we are grumpy, jaded ladies but you could save it for when he gets home and tell him in person. I am sure he would love to hear it.
6. Duck face/drunk photos. They speak for themselves. These are posed and not real, we look awesome but some people do not.
8. 2 kool 4 skool. Bad grammar or text speak. Wot is text speak? I had 2 ask, lucky our ppl has da ear 2 da ground n shared wif me. U grrlls n boiz can chek dis out @ urbandictionary.com
9. Big noter. You know this person, they check in, give updates, name dropping and brag about everything. We are happy you live an exciting, eventful and blessed existence but we suspect a little exaggeration is at play. If not, can we have your life?
10. On/Off Relationship status. If you have an unstable or passionate relationship, maybe just stay away from the relationship button on facebook. Seriously, it doesn't look good going from "It's complicated", "Engaged", "Single" to "It's complicated" in one day. On the same note, on the "single" part of this journey try not to bitch about your ex, because you'll look a little silly when you are back to being "in a relationship" later in the day.
PS: These were all done in fun, but feel free to share your own Facebook annoyances with us, even if it is about people that write bitchy blog posts about Facebook and then share them on Facebook.